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Clear Biblical Responsibilities for Wives Towards Their Husbands

Updated: Nov 10, 2019

INTRODUCTION – A Wife’s Job Description – – Certainly not my intention to exhaust this subject and answer all of your questions. I’m not a woman and have never been a wife.. but I have spent some hours in these passages. My hope is that you will use this outline in your own devotional times with the Lord and in your fellowship with other wives in this fellowship.

1. She does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. – Prov. 31:10-12 (through vs. 27 lifestyle of a wife in Biblical days) a. rest of the passage explains what doing him good might look like, though obviously it was in the context of ancient Hebrew culture. b. The reason her husband is known in the gates (vs. 23) is because there is a great woman behind the scenes, serving her husband and helping him fulfill his leadership in the community.

2. She must fulfill her sexual duty to her husband unless she and he are in agreement re: the need to devote themselves to prayer for a season. (I Cor. 7:3,5) a. Please note that these instructions by Paul are in answer to questions the Corinthians and probably in this instance frustrated husbands and wives – or maybe just wives sent him (vs. 1) b. Sexual deprivation should only have one motivation = fasting and prayer. Is not a tool to make your point or get back at someone. c. I’m sure some of you are thinking,…but what if my husband is being a behind, neglecting me, throwing his identity into his job, playing golf or fishing when he gets a break… My answer is: God’s way of making marriage work just doesn’t work without God. The Holy Spirit didn’t lead Paul to make conditions here. d. I don’t know if anyone has done research on this, but I doubt too many men have been won over by their wives denying them a sexual relationship with them. e. Please keep in mind the command here is mutual and this can go both ways.

3. She must be subject to or submit to her husband . Eph. 5:22 (5 x’s) The Word Submit/Be Subject to: Actually not in the Greek = italics Subjecting is actually a present participle indicating a continuous lifestyle process, an attitude governing every act. Voluntary self denial rather than asserting one’s rights. To refuse to live an independent hidden life. It is a commitment to be an open book with your husband and to make every attempt to be one with him. Things it doesn’t mean:

1. You can never give your opinion. 3. You can never lead out in a certain issue or area of life 4. You can never disagree 5. You can never storm the gates of heaven to get God to change your husband’s mind and heart 6. You have to endure physical or sexual abuse. “We know what initially seems to us bitter, turns out to be in reality very sweet” Continuation of vs. 21 a. “As to the Lord” – – You may or may not get strokes from your husband (at least initially) from submitting to His leadership; but if your focus is more on the fact that ultimately – you are submitting to Jesus Christ Himself – as an act of worship – – then you will not find this such a difficult command or exercise. b. “in everything” – Eph. 5:24 c. “just as the church is to Christ” – Eph. 5:24 d. “as is fitting in the Lord.” – Col. 3:18 e. “so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” – Titus 2:5 f. “so that husbands may be won…” – I Peter 3:1,2

4. She must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33 a. created in the image of God b. Jesus Christ died for c. God made him head over you – I Cor. 11:3 “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” position, not status d. Doesn’t mean you give him a standing ovation every time he walks in the room; but you strive to not dishonor him or disrespect him in any way. (Lit. fear) God has given him this position. God will hold him accountable for how he handles this position. God’s kingdom thrives on order and peace in contrast to the chaos and contentiousness in the world system. Respect enables that to kick in.

5. She must love her husband. Titus 2:4 a. first in order – everything else rides on this

6. She must learn to ask her husband (once they are home from a gathering of believers) about things that concern her – instead of blurting out or challenging things in a meeting, where men are present and where prophesying is taking place. I Cor. 14:35

7. She must pursue inner godliness, not just outer beauty as she relates to her husband – following the example of godly women of old. I Peter 3:3-6


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