This will probably be my last post about fathering from the Old Testament though much more could be said therein. I felt before we go on to the New Testament in this fathering series, we should make sure we clearly see that from the beginning of human history God has always intended for fathers to walk with God and to teach their children how to know and walk with God. Fathers were never meant to be merely providers, protectors and disciplinarians.
When a father neglects his highest calling to know and walk with God then he opens himself up to the world’s powerful lies regarding his fathering role. One of the most damaging of those lies is that it is the mother’s role or responsibility to teach their children about God; it is the father’s role to provide for and protect the family and perhaps discipline the children when necessary. Nowhere in scripture is that stated or implied.
Now mothers can and should walk with God themselves and instruct their children to do the same as they have opportunity. But not in place of the fathers. While a mother’s instruction is invaluable, it can never replace the intended and expected instruction of a father. Fathers who walk with God and instruct and teach their children out of the well of that cultivated relationship with God impact their children in a way that no other human being on the planet can. No wonder the enemy of our souls fights so desperately against such. And no wonder children who do not get this instruction from their fathers (even if they get it from their mothers) often flounder later in life.
So let’s take a look at some scriptures in the Old Testament that seen together make it obvious that this is what God intended for fathers.
First in Genesis 18:19, our trinitarian God is having a conversation with Himself. In that conversation He reveals what He expected of Abraham in terms of his parenting, “For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.”
Please note God did not choose Sarah to do this, but rather Abraham. God’s ability to fulfill His promises for Abraham would depend in part on whether Abraham fulfilled this commitment to basically disciple his children in the knowledge of God, His will and ways.
This principle or pattern of a father first giving himself to knowing and walking with God himself and then out of the fullness of that relationship instructing his children to do the same is seen often in the book of Deuteronomy. Now to be fair to Scripture, these passages are not explicitly directed towards just the fathers. But they certainly are not directed to merely the mothers. Most likely both were hearers of these commands from God via Moses. But knowing what we know about God’s expectations of men taking spiritual leadership in and among the nation of Israel, I believe the following words are especially directed at the fathers (and grandfathers). Please note in all of these three passages, the priority is to first give yourself to knowing and walking with God and obeying His voice/word; then to instruct/teach one’s children. Please also note this call to walk with God leaves little room for compromise or half heartedness.
Deuteronomy 4:9 ,10“Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons….’Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.”
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
Deuteronomy 11:18, 19 “You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when your rise up.”
One of the reasons I believe these three passages above were especially directed at the fathers is because of what we see in Psalm 78:5-8. “For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments, And not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not prepare its heart And whose spirit was not faithful to God.”
Israel’s very life and health and future would depend on whether fathers obeyed these words and principles. Our God – the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – has always been a generational God - - that is a God who doesn’t just deal with the generation at hand, but has in His mind the ones to come as well.
Proverbs 4:1-5 “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, And give attention that you may gain understanding, For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction. When I was a son to my father, Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, Then he taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live; Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.”
Solomon exhorts all children in this passage to hear and heed instruction from their fathers based on his experience of hearing and heeding the instruction he received from his father – King David. David was not a great father to some of his children. But he apparently really worked at spiritual instruction with Solomon. And Solomon greatly profited from it. It was this instruction that postured Solomon to be the great king and spiritual leader he was for years before his heart was corrupted by his many wives.
Finally in Isaiah 38:19 King Hezekiah declares, “It is the living who give thanks to You, as I do today; A father tells his sons about Your faithfulness.” This statement kind of comes out of nowhere. King Hezekiah is mortally sick and according to the prophet Isaiah’s prophecy is going to die from his sickness. Hezekiah then prays with tears that God would have mercy on him and heal him. God then tells Isaiah to inform him that He has heard his prayer and that He will heal him. Hezekiah then journals more of his prayer in which he makes this statement, which to me seems prophetic. But regardless of how this statement fits or doesn’t fit in Hezekiah’s prayer, it is true and in keeping with God’s heart and mind about what a father is meant to do with his children.
BTW – if you ever want to do a study of the fathers in the Old testament and how they fathered their children, don’t overlook Jehoida the priest whose son Zechariah followed in his godly footsteps. (see II Chronicles 24:20).
So here are some closing thoughts about all of this:
- For pastors, teachers, apostles and prophets in the body of Christ - - we must not waver on proclaiming these truths even though there is a lot of shame in the body of Christ about failures therein. None of us have carried this out as we should have. But it certainly won’t help us to ignore what God has revealed. We just have to extend much grace in the journey. And devote ourselves to intercession for those under our care as they learn by the Spirit to overcome the negative effects of not having been fathered appropriately.
- For all of us who did not experience our fathers or grandfathers or uncles teaching us about Christ and His kingdom out of their ongoing experience of walking daily with Him - - we must continually come to the Father of the fatherless (see Psalm 68:5 & 146:9) & our Eternal Father (Jesus) (see Isa. 9:6) for Him to heal us and make us whole as only He can do.
- For those of us in the leadership of Christ’s church who see all of this more and more clearly and who often minister to those who do not see it clearly at all, ultimately our call is to proclaim Christ and Him crucified. So let’s stay focused on Him and wait on Him to bring His sheep to a place where they are ready in their pursuit of holiness and wholeness to work through their fathering issues.
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in the U.S.A & much grace and peace to those outside of the U.S.A. today!
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