Raising the Righteous Standard of Fathering for the Glory of God XX – Fathering Daughters -Part I- Jairus

Recently after meditating upon Jairus pleading with Jesus to heal his daughter and then a week or two later meditating upon Phillip having four daughters – all who were prophetesses as stated in the book of Acts – I sensed that the Lord wants me to write about fathering daughters in our ongoing series about fathering.

Experience wise, I have only fathered one daughter, and now have two granddaughters that I typically interact with at least twice a week. In no way am I writing about this because I feel I am an authority on the subject. I am very aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings in this arena. Though I have learned some important lessons along the way both from my own parenting and from walking with a number of brothers over all these years who have fathered daughters – some with as many as four like Phillip.

BTW - My daughter will be turning 35 years old next month and is very involved in our church. Her husband is our worship leader and my daughter occasionally serves on the worship team. They both serve on our advisory council and in our children’s ministry. She has given us 3 happy grandchildren, who actually will be spending the late afternoon and evening with us today – taking them home in the morning. My daughter has given us great joy as she has sought Christ and His kingdom first for much of her life.

I’d like to start with some lessons from Luke 8:40-56 re: Jairus. This man was a desperate father who came to Jesus – pleading for Him to come and heal his dying daughter (vs. 41). She was only 12 years old, far too young to die and was her father’s only child (vs. 42). I’m sure he was thrilled Jesus seemed to be willing to go to his house after he bowed before him and made his desperate plea.  But then he had to watch as the crowds pressed in on Jesus and slowed Him down (vs. 42b). Then Jesus got further “distracted” (not in the text, but probably how Jairus felt) when Jesus started trying to figure out who had just touched Him. I don’t know how long that interchange took (maybe twenty minutes?), but I’m sure it seemed like eternity to Jairus. Then when that interchange ended and it seemed like maybe they could make some headway towards Jairus’s home, someone came from his house and said to him, “Your daughter has died; do not trouble the Teacher anymore.” (vs. 49).

I cannot imagine hearing those words… Fortunately Jesus knew how devastating those words were to this desperate dad, and thus He lovingly and firmly exhorted Jairus, “Do not be afraid any longer; only believe, and she will be made well.” 

From the moment Jesus first laid eyes on Jairus He knew what He was going to do. He knew there would be delays. He knew there would be unbelief and walking by sight all around Jairus. And He knew Jairus must overcome his own unbelief and the unbelief of others around him to be pleasing to God and to see God come through even when it seemed like it was a utterly hopeless situation. Perhaps Jesus also knew that the Father had wisely and graciously allowed Jairus to be right next to Jesus when He healed this tormented and oppressed lady, whom no doctor had ever been able to help – so that Jairus’s faith could be stimulated for what lied ahead.

Here's what I see for we fathers of daughters from this passage. First we must come to Jesus for our daughters as a way of life. Faithful, daily, and fervent intercession will be by far the best gift we can ever give our daughters. And the humility and willingness to be rejected by his peers that Jairus – a known religious leader -  showed by falling at Jesus’s feet (see vs. 41) should not be overlooked. He easily could have been like so many Jews who secretly believed in Jesus but would not dare let anyone know that (see the blind man’s parent’s example of this in John 9:21-23). Our coming to Jesus as a way of life cannot and should not be placed under a bushel as Jesus warned against in Matthew 5:14-16. 

Second, we must allow Him to build our faith and stretch our faith for the big challenges that lie ahead in the lives of our daughter(s).  Hopefully you and I will not have to see our daughters die pre-maturely. But even if they do, we must learn to listen to Him, hang on to His every word, and not be swayed by the unbelief around us. It is interesting to me that Jesus could have ignored all of the other people at Jairus’s house who were “weeping and lamenting” the tragic death of this young girl (vs. 52). But again perhaps because of His firm intention to disciple Jairus and help him become a man (and father) of faith, He rebuked the friends and relatives lamenting and weeping – informing them that what they had concluded about this girl’s condition was faulty. From what I can tell Jairus stayed in the game, took note of Jesus’s rebuke, and did listen to Jesus, and by faith he got his daughter back.

We are not told anything else about Jairus in the New Testament, but it is possible one of the reasons Jesus wanted Jairus and his wife to be in the room along with Peter, James and John is because in the years to come Jesus intended for Jairus and his wife and daughter to be His disciples and to already know the leaders of His church in Jerusalem (and for them to already know Jairus and his wife and daughter). It is one thing to have the faith to see God do a miracle in our child’s life. It is another thing to faithfully steward that miracle and see the fruit be borne from it that God intended.

Fathers – Jesus knows you love your daughter. He loves her/them far more than you ever will. But He wants you to learn to come to Him and stay with Him especially when your daughter finds herself in intense and trying situations. If you will listen to Him and cast your burdens for your daughter upon Him, He will help you be the father you need to be to your daughter(s) up to her (or your) last breath.

Every trial or challenge God allows your daughter(s) to experience is an opportunity for you to see Him at work. May you and I steward these trials and challenges well by His Spirit for His glory as we continue to parent our daughter(s)..